Seven

Some lyrics are cliché, predictable, but oh-so-true. For example, from Radiohead’s Karma Police, “For a minute there, I lost myself, I lost myself.” a little on the uncreative side for Thom Yorke, but I guess that was overlooked because he sang it with such longing - like he desperately had to find himself again.

Everyone gets lost, all the time. He was no exception, she wasn’t and neither was I. But the beauty in being lost, is being able to find yourself and how you feel when you do. That’s the good thing about losing myself so much. I’ve told you about how easy it is for me to get absorbed in something and forget what I really should be doing, or who I really should be with. But I have people who help me figure out who I’m really meant to be and pull me out of whatever I’m in.

Ultimately, I am the only one who can save myself. I have to want to forget that boy I love one day and hate the next. I have to stop thinking that I am invincible and that everyone around me is automatically protected. I just have to be selfish for once and do what’s best for me. I hope that one day I can look back on this site and think of it as one big “finding-myself” experience.

You know, sometimes I hide behind Charlotte, she’s a nice solid wall of protection. I don’t talk about Charlotte in real life, I don’t talk about things I say when I am Charlotte to people I know in real life. I don’t open up that way. I get lost that way.

But I think that, tomorrow, if you wanted to ask me, I might tell you.

This entry was written on October 15, 2007 by Charlotte Crown. It is about/includes mentions of life, personal. You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.