Internal battles
Every day is a fight in the midst of war that will take lifetimes to complete. These battles don’t always kill, but they injure.
It begins every morning when the siren sounds at dawn. Of course there is reluctance, hesitation. I don’t want to hurt the enemy any more than they want to hurt me. Really, we are not enemies, we are the same. We have simply been pulled to opposite sides and have been led to believe that we are fighting for the right cause. Is there really a right cause when people on both ends are maimed every minute?
Some days are good. We haven’t been harmed too badly and something amazing might have happened to keep us cheerful. Most days are bad, we make too many mistakes, we suffer the consequences.
The worst part about mistakes, is wondering about what might have happened if you knew what your choices were. Knowing that you could’ve changed the outcome. You could have saved yourself or someone else. “What if?” is a maddening question, because you can’t change anything now, I can’t change myself now.
This war has been fought for sixteen years and it will cost me my life to leave the battlefield.
Seventeen
Man, I love the word “maim”. Just sounds funny. Mamee noodles! And when you said it, it reminded me of a user comment I read years ago on a sword for sale at an online weaponstore. “Pretty good for maiming cows…not that you should be maiming cows.” Oh the memories- this has been a very reminiscent article Charlie, thankyou.
P.S - Just level up more and you’ll be fine.
July 23rd, 2007 at 23:29
Shelly
I love the way you wrote this, it’s got that ‘deep’ feeling to it. Although I am not sure that you are referring to something occurring to you in real life, I wish you the best of luck in your battles.
July 24th, 2007 at 04:23
Camia
You’re certainly having quite a large battle raging inside you. I don’t even know what to say exactly. Intense..
July 24th, 2007 at 08:34