Motherly advice
“You were so tiny!” my mother squeals, reminiscing about a day that occurred over a decade and a half ago.
“Not any more,” I reply dully. “Sixteen year olds don’t get much opportunity to be tiny.”
“Well of course not,” she looks at me with a funny glazed look in her eye. “I was sixteen when I knew your dad.”
Hmm. Well. This is interesting, thanks for sharing that with me. “So now I should just go off and marry Seventeen then, should I? I know him and I’m sixteen.”
She laughs at me like I’ve said the most side-splittingly funny thing ever. “Of course not, don’t be stupid! You don’t know how to love. Little girls like you don’t know what love is.”
That’s something that I have an inclination to agree with, yes. I don’t deny that I am cynical when it comes to teenagers and love, but I wonder what more my mother has to say. “So mum, what’s love?”
Guess what she comes up with? She spouts out the most clichéd crap. Things that she’s probably recycled from all those soppy Hollywood tear-jerkers we’ve watched together.
“It’s when you always want to see someone, and when every time you do see them, your heart goes boom boom boom boom…”
If that’s what my mum thinks love is, then of course I haven’t felt like that.
“Anyway Charlie, you’re not out to look for someone to marry now. You’re just a kid. You shouldn’t be looking for love, it should find you.”
Well finally, something a little more original, and not entirely copy-pasted from the latest blockbuster script.
“I have faith, baby girl. You’ll be OK. Love will be kind to you one day.”
I hope so too, mummy. One day.
Seventeen
That would be lovely, I’d drive you mad by folding all your clothes and cooking Italian every night. Not to mention the awesome ADSL1337 I’d be indulging in all day.
‘ya mum’ so totally has it all wrong. Love is when you’ve spent the day starving for a chocolate Freddo, and you see a person of the opp. sex (geometrical proofs…) standing on top of a hill with their arm raised high above their heads, holding a dollar coin- and sunlighting bursting from behind them.
My future wife will either be the maker of Freddos (if she’s a she), you if you pay for my internet connection for life, or the inventor of pasta (female or not). Or Aeris. Ohhh…Aeris…
On second thoughts (or actually- one, two, three, four…on fifth thoughts) I’ll just not get married and get you all to give me food/internet.
Hahaha, boom boom boom boom… :D
June 4th, 2007 at 23:36
Charlotte Crown
NO YA MUM JOKES!!!
lol.
June 5th, 2007 at 00:01
Seventeen
Oh yeah, absolutely forgot about that… Hehehe.
Thanks for the article idea though! Lawlz.
June 5th, 2007 at 01:09
Kathy
LOL, hilarious :D This made me laugh: ““It’s when you always want to see someone, and when every time you do see them, your heart goes boom boom boom boom…” Not that it isn’t true, but … I must say it is quite corny.
June 5th, 2007 at 03:54
Laarni
Moms rule! lol.
June 5th, 2007 at 13:44
Alexander Van Zandt
Hehehe Charlotte. You’re so funny.
I’m on my sixth wife and I can tell you exactly what love is. Although, I would have to kill you. Just like I did my odd numbered wives.
June 5th, 2007 at 20:08
Charlotte Crown
Alexander, I may have to kill you first.
June 5th, 2007 at 21:55
Seventeen
Don’t stabbitoes her! MY BROADBAAAND… :(
June 5th, 2007 at 23:02